


An Egg-cellent Evening

by The_Devil_In_The_Details_666



Series: Lex Luthor is Kind of a Loser [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Eggs, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, Jason Todd gleefully being a troublesome little shit on behalf of his husband, Jason Todd having a great time, Lex Luthor is not having a good day and he deserves it, M/M, Revenge, This isn’t smut I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:13:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25794937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666/pseuds/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666
Summary: One 6-count carton of eggs: $0.52One slingshot: $11.43The look on Lex Luthor’s face when the first egg hit his ugly purple suit: Absolutely priceless
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd (mentioned)
Series: Lex Luthor is Kind of a Loser [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871317
Comments: 2
Kudos: 186





	An Egg-cellent Evening

**Author's Note:**

> Follow-up to Business Blues.

One 6-count carton of eggs: $0.52

One slingshot: $11.43

The look on Lex Luthor’s face when the first egg hit his ugly purple suit: Absolutely priceless

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The expression on the cashier’s face when Jason placed the carton of eggs and the slingshot on her counter was one of pure shock and fear. Her eyes fell to the eggs as she scanned them and she finally squeaked out, “Um… Slow night?”

Jason gave her a charming grin, though she couldn’t see it, and answered, “A bit, yeah. Decided to egg a supervillain.”

“Oh. That’s… That’s nice? Your, uh, your total is $12.11.”

Jason pulled a roll of twenties from his jacket and handed over a bill, collecting his purchases and walking away, calling, “Have a nice night!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason was soon perched on the edge of the building across from where Luthor was having some business dinner, watching through his helmet’s built-in binoculars as Luthor wined and dined investors. The waitress brought the check over and Luthor handed his credit card to her, saying something to the group of investors that made them laugh. Jason readied his slingshot and the first egg as the waitress brought the card and receipt, scowling as he noted that Luthor hadn’t left a tip. Luthor and the group of investors started towards the door of the restaurant and Jason grinned meanly, turning on the lens-recording function that would record everything he saw as he took aim. The doors to the restaurant swung open and Luthor stepped out, his bald head glinting in the bright lights of the Diamond District. His face was indescribably smug and Jason couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him as he pulled the slingshot back and let it go, sending the egg flying. The egg was a blur of white until it met Luthor’s hideous purple pinstripe shirt, exploding in a firework of yellow. Luthor’s smugness was replaced by a mix of poorly concealed shock and nearly cartoonish outrage in the bat of an eye, leaving him looking a bit like he had just been hit in the nuts with a bat, and Jason gleefully loaded another egg into the slingshot, sending it splattering against Luthor’s left shoulder. A third egg found its target on Luthor’s no doubt absurdly expensive custom leather shoes, with the fourth and fifth landing just above the first so the yolks and whites splattered up into his face as he looked down at his shoes. By the time Jason had loaded the sixth and final egg, Luthor had turned to flee back into the restaurant, shouting into his phone with bits of egg dripping down his red face. Jason sent the final egg splattering against Luthor’s back and cackled to himself, tears gathering in his eyes as he doubled over, and he finally remembered to stop recording, sending the video to his laptop. He glanced at the large video billboard a few streets over and grinned to himself.

This would be  _ so much _ fun.

**Author's Note:**

> There may be a third installment to this. We'll find out.


End file.
